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🚨 What now? privacy problemsHIGH URGENCY

An ex keeps contacting me — what now?

Written cease-and-desist, block all channels, preserve evidence. On escalation: stalking police report (Sr Art. 285b) or restraining order via court.

Last reviewed: 25 May 2026Reviewed by FFCheck-redactie
Unwanted contact from an ex — depending on pattern + intensity — is under Dutch law stalking (Sr Art. 285b, max 3 years). The threshold: systematic violation of someone's private sphere with intent to force them to do, not do, or tolerate something, or to instil fear. Not every message from an ex qualifies — but the pattern of repeated contact despite clear refusal does. Four escalation levels: (1) clear written cease-and-desist (email or letter — keep as evidence), (2) block on all channels + tighten privacy settings, (3) police report for stalking, (4) civil injunction for restraining order + threatened penalty. On violence or threat: immediately 112 AND Veilig Thuis (0800-2000, 24/7, anonymous). Slachtofferhulp Nederland (0900-0101) assigns a case manager who guides the whole case — free. Privacy-law route: if ex shares or publishes your data online (photos, phone, address) also GDPR Art. 17 erasure request + AP complaint. Doxing: Sr Art. 285d explicitly criminal since 2024.

Step by step

  1. Written cease-and-desist + evidence

    Once clearly: "I want no more contact. Stop calling, emailing, messaging." Email or letter — keep the text + sent proof. This is the legal starting point.

  2. Block all channels + tighten privacy

    WhatsApp, Telegram, email, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Discord — block on each separately. Privacy settings to "friends only". Possibly change phone number.

  3. Call Slachtofferhulp + Veilig Thuis

    Slachtofferhulp 0900-0101 assigns a case manager. Veilig Thuis 0800-2000 for suspected escalation or relationship violence. Free + anonymous.

  4. File stalking report (Sr Art. 285b)

    Politie.nl or 0900-8844. Show: cease-and-desist + evidence of continued contact + impact (sleep issues, anxiety). Ask for case number + file.

  5. Civil: restraining order + penalty

    On persistent behaviour: civil injunction at preliminary-relief judge — claim for restraining order with penalty (typically €250-€1000 per breach). Lawyer needed. Subsidised legal aid possible via Legal Aid Council.

  6. GDPR route for online sharing

    If ex shares your photos/data online: erasure request + platform report + AP complaint. Our GDPR rights pack (€29) bundles the letters.

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Sources

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