Arranging a divorce — mediator or lawyer?
Divorce in NL has two main routes: (1) Mediator route (recommended): one mediator for both partners + children, costs €1,500-5,000, takes 3-6 months. Result: separation agreement + parenting plan, filed with court by lawyer (mandatory for filing). (2) Lawyer procedure: each partner own lawyer, costs €3,000-10,000+ combined, takes 6-18 months. More common with conflict over children, assets or house. (3) Since 2018: also possible without lawyer via county court if both partners agree (no children, limited assets). (4) Separation agreement: regulates alimony, assets, pension, owner-occupied home. Parenting plan mandatory with children <18: upbringing, contact, costs. (5) Alimony: via NIBUD table or mediator calculation. Spousal alimony max 5 years (since 2020). (6) Own home: stay, sell, one takes over (appraisal needed). Mortgage liability removed only after release of joint-and-several liability.
Step by step
- 1Choose route: mediator or lawyersOn agreement: mediator (cheaper + faster). Conflict over children/assets/home: each own lawyer often safer.
- 2Gather financial documentsPayslips, tax returns, pension overviews, mortgage, debts, bank statements, home appraisal. Both partners share full transparency.
- 3Mediation sessions / lawyer talksMediator: 3-6 sessions of 1.5 hours. Topics: children, alimony, assets, home, pension, daily contact.
- 4Draft agreement + parenting planWritten agreements on alimony, asset division, child contact. Mandatory with children <18. Signing = binding for court.
- 5Court filing + rulingLawyer files petition with court. Without hearing (joint petition) or with hearing. Ruling 4-12 weeks. Registration in civil registry makes divorce final.
All contacts
Frequently asked questions
How long does a divorce take?
Mediation: 3-6 months. Lawyer procedure: 6-18 months. On severe conflict (asset dispute, custody battle): 1-3 years possible. Civil registry registration = final divorce date.
What if partner refuses to cooperate?
Unilateral divorce petition possible via lawyer (only you sign). Judge decides on children + assets. Forces partner to cooperate via court-fee obligation + consequence-risk.
Will I receive alimony?
Spousal alimony: only if your income significantly lower + marriage >5 years (was different). Max 5 years duration since 2020. Child support: always for minor children, NIBUD table.
Sources
🔎 Common search queries
Recognise your own search? Our answer above covers all of these variants.
- “divorce procedure Netherlands cost”
- “mediator vs lawyer divorce NL”
- “ouderschapsplan parenting plan required”
- “alimony 5 years rule Netherlands”
- “how to divorce in Netherlands”